tomorrow im meeting my psychiatrist but i feel like i don't even know hwat im doing there..maybe im just a coward who can't manage her emotions..i feel angry at myself and frustrated meeting him again makes me wanna cry..im really starting to feel okay until suddenly im thinking of sabotaging myself and then im trying to rebuild it then i destroy it i don't even remember having enemies at this point i genuinely hate myself.

it's a weird time to write a diary its 17:37 and i feel bad again and again and again..i wanna cry byt why would i cry i live a pretty stable life i should be just like the others in my class ..this thing ain't therapeutic i just wanna smash this computer against the wall

sometimes i have this urge to try out drugs and i was always scared of this thought like a kid

yesterday i slept at 7am again